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Friday, February 22, 2013

I Owe You a Story...

Mr. Wonderful and I have been together for a year and a half. From about six weeks of knowing him, I had the sense that he would be a permanent part of my life.  Through time, I became very secure and confident in that as my trust deepened and we just continued to experience life together.  I wasn't hopeful for a Christmas proposal, but I did hope it would be soon.
January held a series of things that simply happen in the course of life: Major vehicle repairs, a broken hot water heater, out-of-pocket work expenses and numerous budget-busters.  So, while in our hearts we were already planning a life together, I was thinking it would take a little more time to get to the place where we could start the process. 

My birthday happens to fall on the day before Valentines.  When I stopped by the home of my best friend to get a birthday kiss, I was expecting a quick hug and hello before hurrying home to put my three children to bed.  It had been a good, but full day with work and school, dinner with friends, small group at church and lots of life happening (homework, laundry, phone calls, etc.). 
I was greeted with hugs and "Happy Birthday's" from Mr. Wonderful and his girls.  We laughed and giggled, and Mr. Wonderful brought me to his living room where said he had something for me.  He handed me the sweetest card and a rose.  He's written me lots of sweet love notes, but it was my first actual card from him and I loved it.  The words spoke of "...forever with you." and he had handwritten, "So why wait? Let's get started tonight!"

When I looked up, he was on his knee with a small, closed box.  "Will you marry me?"  YES!  and I can't believe you're doing this!  I was truly surprised and so excited.  Mr. Wonderful then asked my three children to be part of his Forever Family.  They all three cheered and we had a big group hug with all the family. 
It means so much to me that all of our children were present when we made the official decision.  It really is a family choice for us.  His girls were snapping photos with their phones and so this is the best quality I have from that night.

When he opened the box, I was equally surprised by my ring which is a gorgeous diamond with sapphires on each side.  It doesn't look like a traditional engagement ring and Mr. Wonderful said he kept coming back to it and thought it was so pretty.  I do, too!

I have terribly chubby fingers and the ring was much to small for me, but you can be sure I smashed it right over my knuckle that night!  I've since had it sized and I am amazed at how quickly it has become normal to wear an engagement/wedding ring.  I love it.  I love that he chose it himself, just for me.  So special!

I must confess that the day I had it sized, I was driving back home from picking up my new ring, chatting away on my cell phone with one of my best friends ... feeling quite giddy and carefree.  I was dropped back to earth by the flashing lights of a police officer who pulled me over to say that I failed to follow traffic signal (rolling stop) and gave me a ticket!  Ugh!  But nothing could dampen my mood and truthfully, I was quite distracted by the sparkle.
It's been a whirlwind of a week - we're hoping for a wedding in July, working out details of locations, family availability, honeymoon time and more.  I love that Mr. Wonderful is enthusiastic about moving forward.  I even love the more challenging things like working out budgets and making housing decisions with him.  I love the way we work together, that he hears and considers my input and that I trust him so deeply.  I am in love and will choose to love him for the rest of my days. 

I really didn't know that I would or could experience this happiness!  

Friday, February 15, 2013

Meeting a Date

I have noticed that I received many invites to check out singles or meet up with others on Thursdays and Fridays.  It's as if the online dating sites are trying to woo me prior to the weekend and avoid the lonelies.  This week, the solicitation has stepped up to frantic pace!  In anticipation of Valentine's Day, I have gotten multiple emails from Christian Mingle, Our Time, eHarmony, Match, Zoosk and even one I've never seen ... @wannadate - seriously?

But I do understand.  It's Valetine's week and many people will consider looking for a companion.  So, if you feel ready to venture out there and you've thought about what you want, It's time to step out there.  I don't have any new tricks for meeting someone, so here are the basics:

  1. Look around your current circles - is there someone at church?  Your son's basketball game?
  2. Let your friends know you're available.  Okay, not just your firends, your family, coworkers, etc.  If others see you're open and approachable, they may just encourage an awesome friend to take the risk.
  3. Online - has to be said, it is a major source of meeting others in our culture.  You will have the chance to talk with many in a virtual way that you may never cross paths with in real life.  I have often thought that if Abraham used his servant to find a wife for Isaac, I could find a way to make that computer my servant!
  4. Try something new - grab a friend and try a new class, new restaurant, new walking path or even a new grocery store.  Just shaking up your routine will force you to be more aware, ask for help, etc. 
I am SO not an expert in this area!  I do know that as I became ready, I became more and more aware of others around me.  I knew myself, felt comfortable with myself and knew I could be a fun companion.  I felt hopeful and expectant and I am sure that attitude comes through.

Please share?  How do you meet others?  Do you actively pursue?  Share the info, my friends!

PS ... I meant to get this up by Valentine's Day, but a little something happened the night before: Mr. Wonderful proposed!  I enthusiastically said YES!  More on that next week.  ♥

Monday, February 11, 2013

Please Help!

Would you take a moment to vote for me? I was nominated for an award! Thank you so much for checking in to read, to comment and just to say hi! I love sharing here!

Moody Monday - A Hint of Spring? & Please Vote!

I went on a cleaning binge this weekend.  My home is cleaner than it has been since we moved in three months ago.  Every floor, tub, toilet and sink was spotless.  Every single item of laundry washed, folded and put in its place.  The sheets on every bed were fresh.  And then my children came home from visiting their father.  Someone had red dirt in the crevices of their tennis shoes.  A visit had been made to the park - the park with sand, where roads and canyons were built.  Bags were filled with dirty clothes and the children expected me to cook.  So the house didn't stay clean for long.  Ah well.  Such is the cyclical nature of housework.  The only thing that has me truly annoyed is the red dirt I'm still finding in random locations. 

I was able to meet up with a group of friends for lunch and fun on Saturday.  The weather was warm(er) and I was able to exercise outside both days - it's always more fun and less boring than doing a video inside.  My children and I had time to relax, read and play games.  We enjoyed church and being with Mr. Wonderful.  It was a great weekend in so many ways.  I ended with Downton Abbey - and it did not disappoint.

I'm thinking ahead to springtime, now, and feeling ready to purge a bit more (why is there always more to get rid of?) and to get fit.  The winter insulation is cozy but not fun to carry around.  I have one more year of my thirties, so I want to use that motivation to stay healthy!  I am starting to think of spring break plans, potted garden ideas and looking forward.  Good days are ahead!

Do you look forward to spring?  What do you like the most?  Does your schedule change?  Next weekend is supposed to be freezing cold again.

Oh, and would you take a moment to vote for me?  I was nominated for an award!  Thank you so much for checking in to read, to comment and just to say hi!  I love sharing here!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Fabulous Friday Things

I've been looking around at gift ideas and in the purest form of selfishness found some I would enjoy myself.  It got me to thinking about things I enjoy right now and in the spirit of Wish Lists, here is my Gift Guide for the Single Mom (or any woman) you love:


Kenra Thermal Styling Spray - now that my hair is longer, I'm enjoying relaxed curls and this product is a miracle causing the effect to last days ... yes, I said days!  My stylist used it last time I was there.
Slippers - okay, I'm going to make a fantastic grandma someday, but I'm a slipper-loving fool!  Seriously, once I get home, I slip into something more comfortable...these would be nice!

Le Creuset Tea Kettle - I love to have something to quickly boil water and this is just lovely!

Red Polka Dot Toms - I just think I would wear these a whole bunch!

iPhone 5 - I'm eligible for an upgrade, and tempted to splurge.

I would like a watch.  I desire new towels.  It's my birthday next week and some people asked for ideas.  Since becoming a single mom, I often buy myself a little something just for fun.  How do you celebrate the day you arrived?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Are You In a Controlling Relationship?

I have been thinking about controlling people, controlling relationships.  I didn't come by freedom in relationship easily and created many poor patterns that 'give away' my power.  To make matters worse, some of those to whom I gave my power, took that privilege and abused it, used me, made me small.  So, one of the gifts of my single-again life has been to become fully me again.  It's been so fun.  It's something that I want to hold onto even as my relationship with Mr. Wonderful gets serious.

Now I am a watchdog for controlling behavior.  I honestly can't think of a single time when I have felt controlled in this relationship.  That's probably why I feel so safe and can trust him.  I educated myself about controlling personally traits and learned the red flags to spot them.  Sadly, I see them in action around me all the time.  I see my friends controlled by their children and partners.  I see coworkers manipulated by other coworkers.  I see my children give way to controlling friends and then turn the tactics on their siblings! 

Every relationship has beneficial compromise and mutual submission.  There are seasons where the balance may shift further than what is healthy and it is time to work on it.  Most controllers don't see themselves that way and can justify their behavior, but they do not realize the way they are erroding a relationship that deep down they value.  Many who are controlled simply give up hope of things changing.  If either is you, take action.  Admit what is happening and that it will take time and effort for things to be different. 

Controlling Relationship Evaluation

Current Articles I'm Reading -
Identifying a Dominating Spouse
How Has Domination Affected You

My Thoughts on Bullies

Do you feel controlled?  Have be been the dominant person?  Do you think about these things in relationship?  How can we protect our children and train them to neither bully nor give away all their power?  Please share!