I've been thinking about how different my family life is than what I imagined. I remember being just sick with grief and anxiety when holidays looked so opposite from what I expected. I spent so much energy wishing things were otherwise and trying to overcompensate for the perceived shortcomings. Learning to accept and live with disappointment has been a big area where I've had to grow in life.
I would love to have a big family meal on Thanksgiving, especially with my children. I struggle to accept that they are just a few miles away, enjoying the meal with their father and that part of their family. I have to work hard to choose gratefulness for something that I wish wasn't true.
The same is true for so many things in life from the meaningless (I'm really not a fan of my son's '70's hairstyle) to the truly lasting (I wish I had a closer relationship with my daughter). Life is so full of disappointment. I can do what I am able to change things, but ultimately I must accept that all is not rosy and life is less than perfect.
Thanksgiving morning will find me alone. Alone is an extremely rare thing for me so I'm going to enjoy the solitude. I'll go for a walk, enjoy my coffee and putter around without any demands on my energy. I can't wait. I'm thankful. It's not how I would design my day if it was all up to me, but it's still going to be a good day.
Other Posts About Thanksgiving:
The Sweet Side Effect of Gratitude
Can I Feel Sad & Grateful at the Same Time?
I'm So Thankful, But the Table Will Be Empty This Year
