The last couple of weeks have been more smoothe. M. was gone for work for several days and then we actually went out together without argument...real progress for us! Money has been tight, but we haven't had interpersonal battles. I had a nice evening, we've been physically intimate and emotionally striving to connect.
I came to this marriage with such arrogance about my own goodness, love and that being enough. I'm realizing slowly that I'm just not that good and even so, that isn't always enough. As I learn to give up on 'Perfect," I'm trying to just be me - and learn what that means.