The Daddy Wound

This is a hard subject for me to think about.  All wounds are that way, I think.  My three children will have an extra long visit with their Daddy this weekend to celebrate Father's Day.  I will miss them and their energetic activity.  I let them choose a gift for Dad and I try to do something that they can all do together.  So they chose a 500 piece train puzzle they can all work on together.  I hope he does it with them.  I hope he acknowledges the love they so freely give and the way they unabashedly  admire a dad who doesn't always deserve it (NOTE: I do not say this to put down their dad, children give all of us a lot more admiration than we ever deserve).

My children have not known a protective male covering over our lives or home.  It is my hope that Mr. Wonderful will be the male figure who is a healthy, godly example of what God intended when he created man.  I pray my boys will learn the importance of faithfulness and my daughter to know what love looks like.  May she not be vulnerable to harmful predators who seek only to use her for their own selfish pleasure. 

I worry about their Daddy wound.  I worry they will seek approval and attention from unhealthy sources.  I worry that they will not well define the role of men.  I worry they will take on the views I see as negative about women and self.  I worry they will repeat history and have broken relationships in their future.  It makes me sad.

We all have a Daddy wound, to some degree, for none of our earthly fathers are perfect.  My own father was present, loving, faithful and the best dad anyone could hope for.  I still made choices that weren't the most wise.  So I turn this worry over to the One who heals all wounds.  I have to trust our Lord to gently replace the negative messages of this world with the truth.  I do all I can to reinforce the positive, create healthy views of family, men and marriage.  But ultimately they will make their own choices. 

I'm thankful for the men in the lives of my children: For pastors who teach and keep the Truth before us.  For my Father, the Papa who loves them and gives them attention and affection whenever he can.  For Mr. Wonderful who is willing to open his heart to love in ways they will likely never understand. For my former spouse, their Daddy who remains a part of their lives and was part of their being.  Thanks, guys.

Feeling Rich

I've written before about how being rich is more about your life than your wallet and this post reminded me again this week.  My bank account is tight right now because of extra wedding-related expenses and yet I feel so wealthy.  A list is the only way I have time to get it out:

1. My firstborn desperately needed a haircut, so we took a dining chair to the backyard.  He had trouble sitting still, but we got it done.  Laughing together and listening to the younger two chase fireflies is a memory I will treasure.
2. We've taken several trips up to the Smoky Mountains.  Having the richness of nature and a block of unscheduled time is truly priceless.
3. My babysitter is so helpful.  She shuttles the children, shows up on time, takes them to the pool and makes their summers childlike and carefree.  She's not cheap, but she is so, so valuable!
4. When I feel overwhelmed with clutter (and the thought of moving again soon), I can always find things to purge and donate.  It makes me feel like a queen to pass along our loved items that remain in great shape. 
5. Sometimes cooking feels like such a chore, but my children have recently rewarded me with high accolades for simple meals like pork chops and pan seared steak.

Life is good, the future is hopeful and we are so blessed with good health.  Can you make a quick high-five list?  I promise you will feel better remember how rich and full is your life.

Are These Gams Worth It? You bet!

Okay, summer is here and my legs have been out in the open for a while now.  Typically, I keep them covered because of excema and the whole thing about needing to shave every single day.  I like to shave at night because - well, I like the smooth in the sheets.  But in summertime, I guess I prefer to shave in the morning so that my legs are stubble free (for the first part of the day at least).  Sigh, it is quite the female conundrum.

Photo courtesy of Gillette

And then I am floored by the price of razors today.  Seriously, I was able to stretch a pink Daisy razor for a couple of weeks and now the extreme, five-blade, lotion-infused refills seem to last a whole week!  What is the deal with this new technology?

Yes, there was the token slice to my Achilles or random miss hairs around my knees, but it was dependable.

So, I'm going to try my hand a new razor: the Schick Hydro Silk.  My legs are long and muscular, so it's worth it to play them up as one of my better assets.  I'll let you know how it works over the next couple of week. 

Does anyone have any razor recommendations?  Do you shave daily, weekly, avoid it all together?  Do you find these decisions more complicated (and expensive) than they used to be?

Check out the Razorvention App for you chance to win!

This is a sponsored post for Schick.  I will be compensated for discussing razor issues here and on Facebook, but all the opinions are my very own.

 



Moody Monday...on Tuesday!

Monday came quickly - the weekends often feel too short.  Yet I'm thankful for a job and for payday today! 

It's Tuesday now and obviously I didn't finish my post! 

Yesterday was the birthday of my former spouse and father to my children.  They went with him to celebrate, so I had some time alone to catch up on grocery shopping, laundry and some fun 'me' time, too.  It was interesting to consider how different he is at age 40 than when I met this man more than twenty years ago.  I wasn't sad, just a bit retrospective as I considered the alternative life I could have been living.  I thought about all the choices he made and I made that brought us to the day where we celebrated only by trading our children on special occasions. 

On that note, I do think it is important to teach my children to celebrate others.  So, I let them pick out a silly t-shirt to give their Dad on his birthday.   They got to wrap it up with a balloon and feel like they did something special.  We'll come up with a gift on Fathers' Day, too.  They want to celebrate their dad.

This was the first year that the father of our children did not acknowledge Mother's Day.  And they felt it...especially my sweet daughter who's love language is gifts.  She was so concerned to not have anything to give and brought me flowers from outside and a plethora of drawings from school.  I do not want to squelch her sweet, expressive nature so I'll suck in my annoyance and help them do something special for their dad. 

Do you acknowledge special days of your former spouse?  Do you enable to the children to do so?

 

By the way, I took matters into my own hands and splurged on a new pair of exercise shoes for my own Mothers Day treat ... I get comments any time I wear them!

From Addidas.com

 

Do You Have Plans This Weekend?

The week has gone by quickly and my children are with their Daddy, as they are just about every Friday night.  The house feels extra quiet and it can be lonely to think of hours without activity.  I learned early in my single mom life that I didn't enjoy being home alone for long. 

Initially, I would spend hours walking the mall, but not having funds to actually purchase something made that get tiring quickly.  In decent weather, I have spent hours walking our local trails.  Then I got smart and began making plans with friends.  Sometimes we walk trails, sometimes we go out to eat, sometimes we just hang out.  This has been another gift of these single years...investing in friendships. 

So, if you find you dread that time when the children are elsewhere - plan ahead to fill the void.  Take care of yourself and enjoy others!

Just a Few Updates

Hi.  Our summer break has officially started with pool passes and a daily sitter.   The children have yet to sleep past 6:30 am...even though I've been keeping them up later.  But I've gained two hours each day without the commute to various schools - I'm already appreciating that!

I believe that our mouse has exited the house.  No evidence since last week sometime.

Sometimes I wish we getting married on June 20 instead of July 20.  I'm looking forward to living as a family.  Other times I get anxious thinking about moving and blending and being a large(r) family. There will be a learning curve for all of us.  But I'm very excited for the challenge!

My children have sunburns.  They are currently obsessed with Netflix and pretzels. 

I had a banner weekend where we celebrated Mr. Wonderful's birthday with the complete family at the Japanese Steakhouse and enjoyed strawberry shortcake.  We took a lovely walk downtown on the unusually cool evening with pleasant company and conversation.  I purchased new shoes, got a new phone and got to eat at Chuy's all on the same day!  Wow!

Today, we have family portraits and I'm addressing invitations.  My idea of a modern romantic summer wedding is coming together and I can already tell that I will wish for more time with my family and friends. 

My heart is full today, thank you, Lord!

Something About Summer...

There is a more relaxed vibe even though much of life's real responsibilities remain.  It feels like there is a little more space for possibility, a little more time for connecting and a the days actually are longer allowing more light to shine into our lives.  Beginning the weekend, knowing it will extend into Monday is just breeds relaxation!

I will be doing some cleaning, some crafting, some planning, some bonding and some partying.  It is Mr. Wonderful has a birthday and we're taking the whole family to a Japanese Steakhouse.  I'm hoping to make it up to the Mountains, also.  Large chunks of unscheduled time is a treasure!

I hope you have a beautiful weekend.  Will you be working? Relaxing?