Married life is fantastic, but ...



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I have been so pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoy being married.  The partnership is amazing!  And still, I have to get used to being with someone all the time. 

It means another person sees me at my lowest and worst.  He sees the irritable, impatient tired mother-me who is short with my children.  He is aware that my Bible sits in my drawer more than in my hands and that I am incredibly messy (and bossy) when cooking dinner.  He is eye witness to my shortcomings and all the ways I try to hide them.  It leaves me feeling vulnerable and exposed. 

It's easy for me to fall into the trap of feeling like I have to earn love, and then knowing that I don't "measure up."  Because of this fear of disappointing others, I often avoid the very thing I need to confront, confess or correct which only worsens the problem. 

"And it’s no compliment to be told that you ... are perfect. There is no freedom in it. There is no true self in it." ~ Grace Filled Living

Moody Monday

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I didn't have the greatest of sleep last night and today I just feel draggy.  Today I plan to write a thank you note...I haven't written any since the wedding and I feel very behind on that!  Today I'm remembering that four weeks ago I was on my honeymoon with the whole week still stretching out unplanned before us.  It was beyond delightful.  This week is overscheduled and busy.  Plus, I'm cooking for seven people each evening!  Tonight we are having breakfast for supper - that will be quick and easy after parent information nights at school.

I'm amazed at how quickly life has become normal after the wedding.  Of course, our normal is very different from anything I ever imagined.  I can't believe how genuinely happy we all seem to be!  I keep waiting for some kind of fallout, negative consequences, something.  So far, so good!  And that is just an unexpected blessing indeed. 

I'm still sorting out where to put all of our stuff and we walk around piles or trip over boxes daily.  But even this is a blessing.  We have more than we need, a strong and comfortable home in which to live and are living with deep joy.  Have you noticed any special blessings lately? 

Wedding Photos

Here is a link to some of our wedding photos - I don't have the professional ones yet, just these that our friends and family took.  Feel Free to take a peek!  Little House in the Foothills

~ Missy

Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson

We are smack in the middle of our first week as a family of seven...it's honestly going better than I thought.  Granted, I was keeping my expectations pretty low because throwing teens, elementary children and grownups who have lived alone and gotten set in our ways just felt like a recipe for disaster surprises.  Because of scheduling prep work and God's timing, we sort of eased our way into the full-on family fun.  We had Mr. Wonderful's daughters, then just my children, and finally this past Sunday all seven of us together. 

For the most part, it has been fun. We had a dead fish and two wet beds on our first night under one roof (Baby boy drank too much before bedtime and Sonny the wild Shih Tzu was feeling nervous, or marking territory, or something!).   My three are convinced Mr. Wonderful doesn't have a job, since he works from a home office.  They have all kinds of questions like, "Who is his boss?" and "How does he get a paycheck?"  Our fabulous babysitter has continued at our new home, even though the drive is longer...we are so grateful for her.  I know it has been an adjustment for him to work with young children in the home.  It's louder, there is more activity, more noise.  He sends me comments throughout the day by phone or text about the happenings. 

Dinnertime is fun, but cooking for seven unique people is a challenge.  I'm used to simple (elementary kid-style) meals and need ideas.  Plus the kitchen is bursting at the seams with lots of duplicate items.  We have little counter space and boxes everywhere.  The logistics of moving into a home which is already full have been overwhelming.  I'm craving clear counters and white space!

We marvel at the number of dishes and loads of laundry.  We are incredulous at thinking about the emotions of so many people...did she go to her room because she annoyed?  mad?  normal teenager?  Is he irritated at the activity?  Do they feel replaced?  Is he feeling at home?  Are we demanding too much, too soon, too many changes?  We have a lot of precious hearts to consider. 

And I don't want my groom to feel neglected!  So, I'm trying spend some time with him before tackling that laundry.  He's been a dream and so helpful.  He's more emotionally intelligent, kind and gentle even in discipline that any man I've known.  I picked well!

Oh, and yes, I am Mrs. Robinson now!  I'll talk about the whole name change situation soon - has anyone else done that?  Send me any great recipe ideas that are family friendly and simple.  I need kitchen help!  Does anyone want to see more wedding pics?

We Did it!

What a Privilege!

I am so ready to marry Mr. Wonderful this Saturday - what a privilege it is to be his wife.  I'm giddy with excitement at the friends and family who will all be gathered to celebrate with us.  Seeing all the details that I've planned come together will be rewarding.  The romantic in me is having a blast.  But honestly, I can't wait till Sunday.  I so look forward to waking up with my man and all the activity and people being a sweet memory.  I do love a grand event, but I'm so happy to get to do normal life together. 

Something else struck me this week...I know as sure as the sky is blue that I don't deserve Mr. Wonderful and was surprised to hear him say those words to me.  I understood then how sweetly the Lord has put us together.  In the best way, we both feel we are the Lucky One and look forward to  proving it to each other for the rest of our days.  It was very affirming that as much as I love and even need him, he really does need me, too. 

I trust him in a way I haven't trusted before.  I do not feel defensive or inferior, I know Mr. Wonderful is looking out for my best.  I'm so confident in his decisions, his understanding and his leadership.  Mmmm, after the wedding, do I become Mrs. Wonderful?  I hope he sees it that way!

Signing off for now, thank you for all the well-wishes!

On Saying Yes and No

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As the only responsible grown-up in our home, it has been evident on many occasions that I am limited.  My resources are limited.  My time, attention, finances, stamina, even mental energy are not inexhaustible.  Sadly, I do not have super-hero powers.  For a long time, I tried to hide my limitations.  I said, "Yes," to things that I really didn't want to do or couldn't afford just to please others.  I agreed to things in order to avoid confrontation.  I overextended myself to look good in the eyes of others. 

By doing all these things, I was crushing the spirit of who I really am.  I used my resources on things that weren't really that important to me.  As life became more complicated and the people who depend on me more numerous (ahem, three babies in less than four years!), I had a hands-on course in shedding that which isn't essential and in prioritizing.   I love the freedom that acknowledging my limitations has brought me!

Every time I say yes to something, I am saying no to something else.  If I say, "Yes, we'll go out to eat tonight."  I know that means I'm stretching our pantry supply for an extra couple of days.  When I say yes to ice cream at 11 pm, I recognize that I'm saying no to feeling sleek and svelte in the morning.  Okay, so I never really feel sleek and svelte, but you get the idea. 

I've been amazed at how universal this principle is.  Every choice has positive and negative ramifications.  Every choice.  How serious is that!  Now, not every choice has consequences that truly matter, but many do.  When I say yes, to that splurge on new shoes, I have to remember I'm saying no to something else. 

I was discussing this concept with Mr. Wonderful recently and I emphatically said, "Yes!" to him.  He laughed and asked what I was saying no to with that?  "To everyone else," was my reply.  It was a lighthearted and quick response, but it was true.  When we say yes, even to the joyous things, we must also so say no.  We limit ourselves in order to experience deeper relationships, security, history - there are so many rewards to limitations!

When I bought my house, I said no to every other house on the market.  When I cut my hair for a trendy new style, I said no to pony tails.  When I make healthy choices, I'm saying no to indulgences like brownies and vanilla Coke.  It's easier to limit myself in some areas than others. 

I'm surprised at how considering this concept has helped give my life direction and to clarify my priorities.  When considering a purchase, a schedule commitment or even a menu item, I am learning to distinguish how my yes will also be a no.  I'm even trying to communicate this to my children...and they get it on their levels.

Do you recognize the intrinsic limitations of your human self?  Do you try to do it all?  How are communicating your priorities and values to those around you and refining them for yourself?  Is it hard for you to come to a point where you stop looking at your options?

Others are talking about this, too!

Choosing the Best Without Having it All

When You Say I Do, You Also Say I Don't

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