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Thursday, January 26, 2012

In Life, You Count!

I hope I'm not losing my mind, but there are certain days when surely I'm close to it.  The immediate frustration of messess, homework, willful children and laundry piles just drive me to seeming madness.  Usually I get to this point when I've put myself at the bottom of priorities and the others in my life follow by doing the same. 

I need to value myself and treat myself with respect.  So do you.   You're not the only one who feels the madness of mommyhood.  Let's take acton and change course today.  It all has to do with
  1. Know what you want, know what you need.  Good mothers put everyone else first, and we've usually done it for so long that we lose ourselves in the process.  It's okay, we do this to survive, to equip our children and because of our innate nurturing qualities.  But we exhaust ourselves managing everyone else's happiness, schedule, emotions and our own anxiety.  Drop the need for things to be "just so," or perfect.  It sucks the life out of you more than gets you to the place you desire of true joy.  So make a list of what you need more of, less of  and what you miss.  Here's mine: More - Time to read.  Less - interpersonal conflict.  Miss - feeling connected. 
  2. Be assertive about your needs and wants.  Why should anyone else make your needs a priority if you don't?  It's okay to tell your children you need some private time.  Schedule something to feed your sould or eliminate something that is causing undue stress.  Take action, don't just wish your way to repeating the same patterns. 
  3. Demonstrate self-respect and they will respect you, too.  Your time and life are important.  Martyrs do not good mothers make, so build some of that margin into your family routine.    Spend some time on something you love for nothing more than the pure joy of it: reading, photography, hiking are things I love and have done little lately.  Incorporate the family, if that works, but do it for you!  Plan a get-away without the children - I've got one on the calendar in June and I just can't wait!  The anticipation gives me something for which to strive. 
We mothers are doing so much for so many.  Remember, it's your life you're living!  Choose to invest in yourself so that you can give to others.  What can you do just for yourself today?