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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Relationship Status

When our divorce was final almost a year ago, I decided I would not consider dating for a complete year.  It has been my way of honoring the commitment I had to my marriage, providing time to grieve and to heal.  Honestly, I didn't have any desire to be around men. 

Oh, that it were this easy!
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My disdain for the gender has waned, though, and I now I think the idea of a male companion sounds sort of wonderful.  It still feels a bit scandalous to admit that and I can't imagine it actually happening.  Right now, I'm simply open to the possibility.  The reality of meeting someone seems like a great mystery to me!  How have you discovered companionship?  Please share your secret.

More than ever, I'm convinced relationships are the richness of life.  Naturally introverted, I make the dedicated effort to nurture relationships.  Am I missing anything? 
  • I schedule monthly dinner out with friends.
  • I actively participate in church small groups.
  • I get out into my neighborhood and look for ways to connect.
  • I invite people into my home whenever possible. 
Because I feel like I 'lost' myself in my marriage, I'm working even now to have a good relationship with myself.  I'm working to accept the challenges of my age and stage of life.  My body isn't that of my twenty-something self, but it's not awful either and I'm blessed with good health.  I am working on eliminating negative internal chatter about my shortcomings.  I give myself permission and time to work on me, what I love and what helps me feel good about myself.  I am taking good care of what I've got with regular health, dental and salon visits.  Yes, the salon often gets pushed to the bottom of my list, but it's on the calendar now.  I will not let false guilt steal my joy.

I shared how I'm working to improve my relationship with my children - it's an ongoing, ever-changing dynamic.  All realtionships are, when I think about it.  I feel good about my relationship with my parents and extended family.  I only wish we could be together more.  The main thing for me is to stay involved and engaged.   What about you?  Do you think online relationships count?


  1. My only advice is to be careful and to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. God has plans for you that are good...



  2. Oh this is a struggle of mine. Spending every evening alone after the children are asleep is dreadful. I long for the day someone will WANT to be with me. I too think it a bit scandalous to be dating at this time in life. It seems so juvenile....and yet completely intriguing. And while I am trying to be in tune with what the Holy Spirit is doing in my life...some days I just need Jesus with some skin on.