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Friday, February 17, 2012

Single Mom Life

I still don't like to define myself as a Single Mother.  It's not the first thing I say about myself when I meet someone new.  But I'm learning to accept the role for this season of life and often I'm even a little proud at what I've accomplished!

#1 - I've provided a consistent and stable life for the children.

#2 - I've cultivated and created a life for myself as a woman.

#3 - I've tried new things and learned more about what I enjoy.  I've taken risks.

#4 - I'm learning to let go of the expectations and rigid definitions that I thought were the only way to be happy.  Discovering joy amid real life has been so liberating!  Accepting that pain is part of the process is hard, but increases the joy.

#5 - Learned more deeply that God is faithful and to be trusted.  This learned most intimately during the most challenging of times.

Being a single mother is much like being any mother - life is full of choices and demands that pull us in many directions.  These are just some of the many things that fill my wonderful, crazy days ...
  • Firstborn, age seven who's sweet and affectionate heart more than make up for the school day challenges.
  • Sweet Daughter age six, sassy and independent, she is the soul of our family reminding us all to celebrate each day.
  • Baby Boy is almost four.  He is boistrous and enthusiastic, smart as can be and adding to the life of our home with his fun and thoughtful commentary.
  • Family: They all live far away and that makes me so sad.  But the love and support is felt through the miles and I treasure these endless sources of joy.
  • Dearest Friends: Both near and far, these are the people that back me up when I need encouragement, help with childcare, support during sad days. 
  • Worklife: Everyday I sit at a desk and keep the lives of others running smoothly.  I'm grateful for the flexibility and conistency my job provides ... but I hope to find something more inspiring someday.
  • Churchlife: Where they keep me accountable and I learn to live in faith with others.  And I have to say I love the music and joyfully praising God corporately.
  • Homelife: As the only adult, the fact is a great deal of energy and effort goes into the basics of running a home.  Grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, playing and even yardwork are daily parts of single mom life.  Life management takes a lot of energy
  • Mr. Wonderful: There's no denying he's part of each day, whether I see him or just expend emotional energy.  It's challenging, but true.
My single life is full - overwhelming on many days.  There are lonely times and the responsibility can be crippling.  But I love my life!  I love my three busy little ones and the friends who I can lean on.  I've got a fantastic and encouraging church and the best family anyone could ever ask for.  It's not the life I planned, but it sure is great.  What's the best thing in your life today?


    1. you have positive mind. Salute your spirit

    2. being a single mommy, I can understand this post too much~! great one!

    3. Came over from Kelly's to just speak encouragement over you and tell you to keep rocking it as a Mom!

    4. I found your blog through Kelly's page. I'm facing life as a single mother with two small ones and just reading through some of your posts I am starting to feel some encouragement that I can, in fact, do this. Thank you.

    5. Very positive and so true!!! I can relate to what you are saying!!!

    6. You have such a positive spirit and outlook!! You are such a wonderful example for us single mommas!!

    7. Love this post (came over from Kelly's Korner)! Although I'm not a single mother but I know lots of them. Seems like you have it all together here and seems like your doing a great job with your kids!!

    8. With your attitude, it shouldn't be long before the happiness you deserve enters your life!

    9. Wishing you God's very best as you continue with all that God had intrusted you with!

    10. I love this post!! It was almost like you took the words out of my mouth. You have SO much to be proud of as a mom!! (found your blog through Kelly's Korner)

    11. I enjoy reading your blog. I am 27 and still single. Life hasn't turned out exactly the way I expected it either. Haha- I just try to do the best I can with what I've been given.
      I have much to be grateful for. I love the quote, "Life management takes a lot of energy." Amen. Sometimes I feel like my house shouldn't get dirty if it is just me- but I still spend lots of time cleaning and yard work just like everyone else.

    12. Hello! I have been looking forward to Kelly doing Single Mom's for a few weeks now! I am a single mama as well, and know to well the blessings and complications that come along with being a single parent. I am 32 and a single mom of two Lil Ladies, ages 13 and 9, with another Lil Lady due in April. I would love to meet some new friends, and get to know other single mom's and share our lives via blogs, etc!! :)

    13. i wish i had come across your blog when I was single. REading your words would have been the encouragement i needed when i felt like things were hopeless and i would never make it single! Good Luck to you and so glad to hear how good things can be.

    14. Your blog is very good~

      Look at this!! Good video

      Click "good news"

    15. Hi Missy. I came over here from Kelly's. All I can say is WOW! Thank you so much for sharing your life. I love that you are so real and vulnerable. I can relate to so much that you have shared. I'm a single mom too. I didn't have my kids when we divorced though. As hard as it sounds, I have been so thankful that my son that we lost didn't have to go through all that. I became a foster mom after our divorce and adopted my son and I now have custody of another little girl as well.

      Blessings to you and your sweet family!

    16. you have an awesome way of viewing life! Sometimes us mother are too busy to take a step back and realize all that we have accomplished, and all we have to be thankful for

    17. Hey I have been a fan of your blog for awhile, a silent fan. I'm not a mother nor was I ever married, I'm only 20, but my mum's been a single mother for the past 7 years already. My dad was her first and only ever love. I saw her tumble and fall, but pick up the pieces, and now she's a stronger women, even though she may not be the perfect mother all the time, we five kids know that she does her best. You remind me a lot of her. Strong, tough and wonderful. Hope you will keep blogging, because seems like you have a strong fan base, and we will be deeply sadden if you ever stop.


    18. Thanks for this inspiring post. I'm a single mom myself, and find it extremely hard to be happy on weekends when my daughter is at her dad's.

      I like what you said, "pain is part of the process is hard, but increases the joy." Those are empowering words. I need to keep reminding myself that.

      I feel so blessed to have been directed to your blog.

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