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Friday, September 28, 2018

What I'm Saying to My Son About the Kavanaugh Hearings

You can bet that my bright high school guy is aware of the happenings regarding Supreme Court Justice Candidate, Brett Kavanaugh.  He has opinions.  My job is to help him see the greater implications and how he can apply lessons to his own life.

We can't know the truth of the matter, but "How do you think you can avoid being accused of something you didn't do?"  I asked my son.  "I can't," was his quick reply.  "Even in school, rumors spread so quickly.  If 5,000 people already believe, it really doesn't matter if it's true."

Wow.  He already feels the weight of presumed guilt.  We talked more about living a life of integrity, character being his only true ally.  We identified the importance of guarding against being alone with someone who could lie.  I talked about how essential it is to remain sober - alcohol and drugs can open the door for too many questions.

Our conversation wasn't about whether we believe Kavanaugh or the accusers. We may never know what may or may not have happened.  Perceptions are often more important than reality.  I think it is brave for any woman to stand up and state when she is assaulted.  I think it is sad for any man to be falsely accused.  We have no way to determine the facts and so this is a no-win situation.

To my son, I can only hope that you remember this moment and live far within the boundaries of integrity.  Someday you may run for office or run a store, you may stand on an assembly line or in a pulpit.  I reminded you this morning that how you choose to behave matters, even now.  Your character and reputation are being built today.

I've learned that the truth does eventually come into the light.  We cannot rush the process.  I've witnessed twisted accusations against my father, that were ultimately dismissed as someone with their own agenda.  I know the pain it causes the individual, as well as the family.  I am also a woman who was silent about assault in my own past.  I understand the hesitation to share - we almost wish it would just go away.  I have been accused and I have been assaulted.  

I pray my daughters and my sons are never placed in either position.

Updated to add: I asked my son to read this prior to posting and make sure he was comfortable with me quoting him...he assures me he is not "feeling the weight of presumed guilt."

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Flourishing in Fall

We are easing into fall and making plans for family gatherings and time together.  The return to school was dreadful this year because I loved the laid back summer schedule and time to just doesn't happen often when our schedules get too full.  I really grieved the slower pace of our summer days.

Thankfully, I've turned the corner and am catching little moments among the busy times to spend time with my people.  Guess what?  My youngest still loves when I read aloud to him.  I've struggled to get him interested in reading lately, but now he asks almost daily.

My older son played golf for the high school team and it was so fun to witness him as he expanded his experience.  He is thriving in high school - he is maturing so well and I'm deeply proud of him!

My daughter is smack in the middle of Middle School Madness.  We still spend lots of time together and her ambition is inspiring.  It's been kind of amazing to watch her trying so hard to grow up.  It's a season on such changes for her.

My step daughters are also doing well.  Mr. Wonderful just crossed the mountains to visit his youngest at college this weekend.  We marvel at the world of college students, so much has changed from our time at university.

Leading our pack of children is our recent college graduate.  We are enjoying a season of her being home while she determines her next steps following college graduation.  She has high aspirations and I can't wait to see where she will land (we are seriously hoping it is somewhere nearby!).

Mr. Wonderful is fully immersed in work - which isn't always fun.  I'm so thankful for the way he provides for our family, works hard and exerts so much energy into his customers.  We are thankful for our snippets of time throughout the week to squeeze in a meal out or time to crash at home together.

Fall brings all the cozy back to our home and our location in East Tennessee truly shines best this time of year.  We love the leaves, the cooler temperatures and the excuse to enjoy a blanket or two.

If you're still peeking in on us, thank you for reading!  I'm on Instagram, too!