Moody Monday: The Hard Part

source: Starbucks Blueberry Muffin

After waking with a terrible headache this morning, I am feeling much better after ibuprofen, coffee and a blueberry muffin.  I love blueberry muffins.  Life is feeling pretty great right now.  It's not perfect and I have struggles, but the overall sense of being is very positive these days.

My children are at delightful ages and this season is one where I am seeing fruit from hard work in previous days.  I'm very much in love with Mr. Wonderful and enjoying this time of reciprocated emotion.  I'm happy.

Sometimes I feel like I'm operating in two parallel worlds.  They do cross and intersect, but I have a longing for more integration.  I'm not sure what that looks like or even what it means. 

At the same time, I understand that the more combined our lives may become, the more susceptible I become to loss.  It still feels risky to depend and want so much.  So this is the hard part: I sense a need to be even more vulnerable, but that feels scary.  I will extend greater trust and believe the best.

What are you believing the best for this week?