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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

"Mommy, Why did you break up with Daddy?"

This little cutie asked the tough question.

Someone we know recently commented to my children that he "kind of broke up with ---."  Then I was asked this question by my six year old daughter and it forced me to change my immediate plans and sit down for a little family talk.

I repeated a phrase that I have used often through the divorce process, "It was my desire that our family stay together always and this is not God's best plan for families."  I try to remind them how much I wanted us all to live together.  It hurts me that they think this was my plan.  I emphasize that I did not break up with Daddy, there were choices he made which caused it to be better for us to live apart.

I know they don't understand this.  They ask me very pointed questions and I'm not exactly sure how to answer.  The questions are more specific as they get older...answers are vague about grown-up problems, broken promises, etc.  The firstborn remembers lots of yelling.  The baby was surprised to learn that Daddy ever lived in our home.

When the topic moved on to other things, I wrapped it up by reminding the children that even though our family isn't perfect, it is a good family, one of which we are proud to be a part.  I shared how God was with us each step of the way and had taken such good care of us.  He will continue to do that even as we prepare for the next season of our lives. 

Yes, we will be moving soon. I don't know where, yet, but things are certainly changing around here.


  1. Oh, that's the hardest question. For some reason, children always think its the mother who wanted things to end! I had to hear and try to answer that question many times. God bless you and their sweet little hearts.

  2. I dread the day my daughter asks me this question because it will be hard to answer without dragging up things about her father I don't want her to know.

  3. I mean you have to say the truth, althought difficult to say it.

  4. Way to pass the buck. You do realize kids grow up and realize it takes 2 people to make or break a marraige. They will always cherish you for throwing their father under the bus regarding the divorce at every opportunity. Word for the day: accountabiliy