To the Mothers

Mothering is a long road. There were many years that Mother's Day was a difficult day for me, as I longed to join those who had that title.  Then my turn arrived when my first child was born the evening before Mother's Day.  It was the best day of my life to that point.  I will always remember the complete joy of being cared for in the hospital, my son proudly by my side while so many friends dropped by to visit.  My own mother was nearby, making sure I was comfortable and encouraging me all the way.  It was delightful.

Mothering is a long term commitment. Four years later, I was the mother of three and I longed for a day  of relaxing in bed, free from messes, sibling rivalry and the unending chores of a household.  But I was still so grateful for each of my little ones and my arms were full of wiggly bodies, my heart overflowing with love for them. Those children gave me reasons to laugh and smile through my most difficult days, and kept me motivated to keep going because I knew they were depending on me to give them my best.

Ten years after my first Mother's Day, I added Stepmom to my title.  I would have never guessed!  Even more so, I came to take the long view and understand that the effort was not for the short term and that this motherhood gig was not a quick return on investment.  Gaining two bonus daughters gave me a front row seat to how quickly life passes and little ones grow, but the daily tasks often feel endless.

Mothering is a mostly done behind closed doors, alone with only God as a witness.  It is a private mission that we hope will change the world through the children we help to shape and mold into adults who are kind and productive.  There are endless duties of training, praying, teaching, loving which are an unseen ministry.  We don't see the result of our efforts for many years.  Mothering is a long term project.  Only God will know the sacrifices, the worries and heart poured into our charges.  

Only when I became a mother did I appreciate the way my own mother loved and sacrificed for me: the energy and the passion she gave for us (my sister and me), the fun infused into every task.  I'm thankful for the security I felt and the overwhelming knowledge that I am loved no matter what.  In mid-life, I can appreciate these things that I had no way to understand in youth.

Mothering is a long term investment.  We don't get to see the outcome for many years.  We must shift our tactics, adjust our expectations, rewrite the script according the way life unfolds.  Along the way we guide our children and turn their eyes to Christ who never changes.  We do our best and pray through the times we fall short or just don't know what do do.  Sometimes we have help, sometimes we feel very alone in our duty.  Through it all we remain devoted and committed to our kids.  

Mother, your work is the work of life. You are the hands and feet of God on earth to our future generations.  Your efforts are so valuable and costly, but the reward is rich.  The minutia of life is the medium of your artwork and your investment will live long beyond your own years.

My bonus daughters are now living away from home and my bios are all in their teens.  Our home is so different than it was when the mothering years had the heaviest physical burden. Today the weight is in continuing to connect, to infuse love and values into the times we get to share.  The great task I feel is to guide these lives to independence and purpose with the legacy of family that will continue beyond our living together.  

Mothering is a lifelong task.  I don't plan to step away from the title when the last one turns 18.  The myth of "Eighteen Summers" is one I reject because I intend to be their encourager for life.  From car seats, toy cars and car keys to car purchases - It's exciting to see dreams coming true, futures taking shape and plans starting to form.  I get to be the one to provide feedback, support and direction.  

Thank you, God, for the children you have given me.  It is the role of my life to be a mother and I do not take it lightly.  It is the passion from which so much else has emerged and a gift to me daily.  

Sending all my love to the dear moms of everyday who are in the life-giving business of raising humans.  It is a job that is never complete, that takes years to realize the reward.  You are heroes.