Have you earned your unofficial degree in navigating October as a mom?
I am currently planning an extensive family trip that involves our large family arriving on different days, from different locations, with multiple flights, trains/car rentals, hotels, reservations and enough moving parts to qualify as a military operation. At this point, I feel I should be awarded an advanced degree in logistics, with a minor in international diplomacy.
But then I realized that motherhood has been preparing me for this for years. If you've raised children for any length of time, you've acquired a very particular set of skills. You know where to find free entertainment, which experiences are worth opening your purse for and how to get an entire family across town without losing your mind.
So, in honor of October, football season and the mothers who keep this city running, here are a few signs that you've officially earned your Mom degree.
You know how to entertain your family without spending a dime. You've mastered the art of free family fun. An afternoon at World's Fair Park? Absolutely. A hike at Ijams? Pack the water bottles. A stroll through Market Square? Even better when there's something happening downtown. Hit the Greenways or the duck pond and consider a backyard picnic. Many times, keeping our kids occupied doesn't need to cost more time.
You know when to splurge. You've learned that not every family outing needs to cost a fortune, but some experiences are worth the investment.
Maybe it's a day at Dollywood during the Harvest Festival, tickets to a Tennessee football game or a special outing to Zoo Knoxville. You know which experiences your family will remember long after they've forgotten what you spent.
You also know that a family of any size can turn a seemingly innocent afternoon outing into a significant financial event.
You understand that October is not for amateurs. Between football games, pumpkin patches, corn mazes, fall festivals, homecoming and Halloween, October requires its own color-coded calendar.
Like me, you've probably purchased pumpkins in 85-degree weather while wearing a sweater - purely out of principle. And you've learned that planning a Saturday family outing without first consulting the Tennessee football schedule is a rookie mistake.
You have strong opinions about Knoxville traffic. You know that "just across town" is a relative term. You know when to avoid Kingston Pike, that Turkey Creek on a Saturday afternoon requires patience and that game-day traffic is an entirely different species.
You've also developed the ability to calculate travel time based on school dismissal schedules, construction, football and whether there is a rolling roadblock on Alcoa Highway.
Your family may question your preferred route, but you know better. You've been driving these roads since before they were born.
You are a professional negotiator. Finding an activity that appeals to kids in elementary school, teenagers, and even college students plus two parents deserves its own certification. Finding a restaurant where everyone agrees on the menu? Doctorate-level work.
You've mastered the art of presenting three carefully researched options while making everyone believe they had a choice. And you've learned that sometimes the most successful family outing is ordering pizza and staying home.
You know the memories are worth the madness. Somewhere between coordinating schedules, finding parking, buying tickets and reminding everyone to bring a jacket, something wonderful happens.
You look around and realize that everyone is together, laughing and making memories. Even if someone complained about the parking, someone else was hungry and you paid entirely too much for a Coke.
Whether your children are little enough to love a pumpkin patch (don't we all still love them?) or old enough to arrive at the family vacation on separate flights, motherhood remains one big exercise in logistics.
And if you've successfully navigated an October in Knoxville with children, football, family activities and your sanity reasonably intact, congratulations! You've earned your degree in Mom Logistics.
Unfortunately, it comes with no diploma, no salary increase and absolutely no guarantee that anyone will appreciate your carefully planned itinerary.
But the memories? Those are worth every bit of it.
