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Friday, August 21, 2015

Move-In Day and A Parent's Victory Walk



By the time this post is published, I'll be rolling down the highway with my awesome husband.  I actually enjoy road-time with him!  A few lanes over our oldest daughter will be driving with her sister and a car packed as full as it can be.  We're moving her into the dorm and it is another transition for our family.

I know my experience isn't the same as bio mom or as Mr. Wonderful who has lived with her everyday for the past 18+ years.  I sense the weight of his grief as he accepts that the day has arrived.  "For so long it was this big day way out there, and now it's here," he shared this week.  He's trying to balance his angst with the truth that she needs him to not need her, just to love her.  He does that so well and she will never doubt that truth.  She will feel it deep in her bones for life.  Mr. Wonderful has provided a safe, stable foundation from which she can launch.  I reminded him she isn't going to disappear and they will always be close, having a special bond.

My role as stepmother will be mostly to support Mr. Wonderful.  I'm sure I'll carry laundry baskets and bed sheets.  I packed a care package of her favorite snacks and toiletries.  But her bio mom will be the one to make the bed and organize the drawers.  I'll observe from an emotional distance and I'll pack away mental notes for the day my own offspring makes this journey.  It does feel, "Like a big day way out there."

When we leave, I hope that Mr. Wonderful can hold his head high and proud.  This is his victory walk.  He has delivered her ready and capable of standing on her own at university.  He has done an amazing job as dad in the day-to-day and I know he will continue to cultivate an adult relationship filled with mutual respect and trust.

I'll try to capture some moments on Instagram - follow me there!

This Mom Thought She Had It All Together

How Not To Be That Mom on Move-in Day