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Saturday, December 24, 2011

It's Better This Year

I wish my presents were this pretty - image via Pinterest
Naturally, this year feels better for me because the children are here for this entire week leading up to the climax of Christmas morning. Last year was a sweet time, but I learned to take more opportunities to celebrate the experience on more than just Christmas Day. My children arrived home at 6 pm already overstimulated, tired and annoyed at having to leave their gifts at Daddy's house. We enjoyed gift-opening with my parents to help celebrate and then promptly crashed.
This year we'll wake and the children can freely pillage their stockings. We'll eat breakfast, letting the anticipation build. Then I'll don the Santa hat and hand out gifts. There are just four each to open and I have a feeling it won't take long! They can play while I get ready for the day, and they'll need to get ready, also, so we can head out to church. Hopefully I'll have time to prep some of the lunch before heading out the door. 

I realized that I wanted to make the transition a bit easier for the children this year. So, I've invited M (my former husband and their Daddy) to join us for a Christmas feast in the early afternoon. He's accepted and we plan to have a traditional family meal, a bit of playtime and perhaps a nap for the baby boy as we gather their things. Then they will head over to Daddy's house to continue the celebration with him. My therapist once told me that one of the greatest regrets that adult children of divorce have is the lack of memories or photos that contain their complete family unit. Yes, I plan to take a picture. It's interesting to me that I intended to do this last year, but was not emotionally in a place where I could.

After everyone is gone, I hope to have a few moments to clean up and savor the memories. Then I get to have a new experience - meeting the parents of the man in my life.

Merry Christmas to each who happens to read here.  I continue to believe that my own experience is best served by sharing with others.  My prayer is that my pain and learning is not wasted and so I share my journey with you.  It's the only gift I have and I'm blessed when you respond. 


  1. I am so glad for you!! Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  2. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, Missy!

  3. Merry Christmas! I am so happy you have found peace in your arrangements this year.

  4. Good on you for inviting your ex-husband to Christmas dinner. Having raised my 4 children completely alone for 12 years, I always wished that my ex could have been decent enough to stay in the country and remain in contact with our 4 beautiful children. It would have made life so much easier in some respects and they would not have grown into adults wondering if their Daddy loved them. Separation & divorce is so hard on the children. I do hope you had a lovely Christmas & wish you a Happy New Year all the way from Australia!

  5. I have already com.

    봐보세요. 많은 도움이 되실꺼여요

  7. I hope you do find out it's a surprise

  8. My children are children of divorce. My attitude was that husband and wife divorced, parents did not. My children were told that they had to make up their own mind about their relationship with him and make it what they wanted, him as a father was different than him as a husband. I stayed closed to his family, the families continue to get together now to share events and holidays with our grandchildren.

    I applaud you. Your children will gave a better time of things because of your attitude.