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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Decisions of Divorce: Wedding Memories


What did you do with your wedding dress?  All those photos?  The unity candle, goblets, or all the other memorabilia?

By the time my ex had moved out, all wedding photos had been closeted away.  The hope of  my wedding day had been replaced with the reality of something much different.  On the day our divorce was final, I burned all the senitimental cards he had given me throughout the years.  They were empty promises and vain words to me now.  It felt good to let those go, as if I had been holding onto the words when his actions demonstrated his true heart.

Soon after, I cleared out my hope chest, tossed the unity candle and napkins, stored photos and videos to share with my children someday and packed it all away in the attic. 

In a back closet, my wedding dress still hung, preserved and stored like the treasure it was to me.  I have such sweet memories of the day my mother and I shopped together for it.  I remember how grand and beautiful I felt in the esquisite lace.  But I was ready to let it go.  It was a tie to the past, and I am intentionally walking away from my past into an unknown but hopeful future.  So I donated the dress to a resale shop.  It was hard to do, but I haven't regretted it for a moment. 

I saved the simple veil and I hankie I carried on my wedding day, just in case my own daughter would want something for her own special day, though I somehow doubt she would. 

My identity changed the day I married, along with my name.  I did not like the woman I became and letting go of the symbols of that day was part of taking back myself.  My wedding and marriage are forever part of my past, but not what defines me.

What did you do with your wedding stuff?  Do you regret spending so much on the ceremony?  What is the best thing you take away from that day?