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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Build 'Em Up - Friendships

A Sacred Vow to Friendship

There are pulls in every direction as a woman, mother and especially in the role of single motherhood.  We truly cannot do it all and sometimes have to let go of all but the essentials in our daily lives.  It's easy to think that friendships are one the things we just have to sacrifice. I have found the complete opposite to be true!  It is my friends that I have most needed when I had sick children, overwhelmed Mommy and a to do list longer than the hours in the day.  When my soul is empty and my body weary, the women in my life have surrounded me to propel me into a better day.  There are some who are friends for life and others who are friends for a season - often we don't know when we meet one how important they will become.

Like most things in life, you don't have to be perfect to be a good friend.

Affectionately labeled in group form, the College Girls are by lifelong besties.  College life has a way of bonding friends and we do share so many great memories.  The first few years after school, we saw each other at weddings and when traveling through one another's towns, but we drifted.  There was no intention  to keeping our friendships close.  Then we scheduled an official reunion - all of us together again!  It was so fun and so wonderful that we pledged to keep it up. Now we have an annual girls weekend.  We share prayer requests and news via email and Facebook.  We even have health kick challenges where we 'weigh-in.'  We have walked each other through weddings, babies, divorces, hurts and celebrations.  There is nothing like being known and loved well.  These are the friends who don't live close, but remain close in my heart.

From our 2012 Get Together - the College Girls!
There is no camaraderie so close as the clique of Motherhood.  Sharing birth stories, toddler tantrums, homework secrets and laundry woes is a whole 'nother kind of bonding.  Some of my Mom-friends are people I may not have connected with in different season of life, but the trenches of motherhood bring us together.  I learn from them and lean on them when I can.  We car pool each others' children, we price for a joint garage sale, we compare homework tips.  These are the women with whom I do life.

When my van died as I drove my firstborn home from his tonsillectomy, both of us in tears.  I needed the friend who came to get us and the other friend who had my van towed for repair.  When I couldn't make it to the school pick up line in time, I called my friend who was already in line to pick up her own.  When I had to move, I needed the friends who gathered around me as I grieved the rooms and packed the space...then came for appetizers and desserts at the new house.  I am always thrilled when I get asked to return the favor.

I need others.  You do to.  But for people to be available, we must foster and nourish the relationships in an ongoing fashion.  It's worth it to take the time and energy to invest in friendship.  Here are some fun ways:

  • Use social media - especially for the long distance friends & family.
  • Notice who is at church, school, parks and grocery store - your path is crossing the path of others.
  • Schedule something fun - I have a group that loves to go out to eat.  It only happens every couple of months, but our 'dinners' usually last four hours!
  • Share a play date by getting together with the mother of your children's friends.
  • Look for someone who needs help and offer to babysit, pick something up at the store or car pool.
We know there are so many benefits, so even though it takes some extra effort - it's worth it to invest in friendships.  Life is more livable when shared.  How do you stay connected?  Do you think it is more difficult to make friends these days?  

I'm Linking up with Kelly Here.


  1. This is really well written and I related so much to your college crew sentiments. Love those reunion trips! Thanks for linking up with us!

  2. Love this post and the wisdom you share about friendships! Thanks for linking up!

  3. I'm glad to see you are doing well! Sending you lots of hugs and kisses from Paris. (Well, actually, Brussels right now!) matchmakers