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Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I've been having a difficult time sleeping lately, even though I'm trying to do the "right" things by taking time to unwind, no late night computer or tv, in bed at a decent time, avoiding caffiene.  Still, I often find myself still awake at 1:30 or 2:00 am.  My human self can handle a night or two of this, but the cummulative effects are not good as night after night becomes a pattern.  
This is my youngest, I pray they remain this carefree.
Obviously he has no trouble sleeping!
Today I feel drained, physically weak and I can tell my body is fighting an infection (sore throat, swollen glands).  I'm trying to stay on top of it with vitamins and healthful food - this single mama doesn't have time to be sick!

Sometimes, I write down what is bothering me so that I can release the need to dwell on it and hopefully sleep.  Sometimes it really works!  Here was a recent list:
  1. Childcare (my babysitter recently accepted a different, ful-time position)
  2. Money/Provision (I missed about 3 days of work last week because of snow!)
  3. Party Plans & New Bed (current projects)
  4. School performance - first grader showing some troubling patterns of behavior
  5. Work performance - me
  6. Personal ambitions
  7. Loneliness, weight of responsibility, lack of partnership
M left a message last night that he will be unable to get the children this week because of work conflicts.  Usually I don't want to send them away, but this week I was really hopeful for the alone time to renew, rest, plan for an upcoming party and even get a haircut.  Now all those things will be scratched or worked in to the normal daily routines of homework, baths, meals, etc.  It's okay, this is my life - they are my life.  I'm so learning to hold my schedule loosely, and that is a lesson I do not enjoy.


  1. I just wanted to offer you encouragement. I am praying for you today. Your story speaks to me. You seem to be doing a wonderful job staying positive for those sweet babies. I look forward to keeping up with you here.

    Jodi (Alabama)

  2. Thank for the encouragement, Jodi!

  3. Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa ( may be another choice. i know alot of people use it, its also non alcoholic, though it's effectiveness is not as good as alcohol based cough medicine, but it's still good to use on not so serious sore throat.