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Thursday, March 3, 2011

We're Not That Different

Sometimes, I feel just so "other" than many of the moms I know.  I can't ask my husband to watch the children while I meet my girlfriends for lunch.  I don't have the extra cash to indulge in a manicure.  When we are invited to a birthday party, I bring all three because I don't have a spouse to watch the off-age siblings.   

But like every mother my heart grew ten times when my newly born babe was first placed in my arms.  I plan and plot and provide them with the best my resources allow, learning to accept that this is enough.  I get frustrated with the never-ending cycles of clean, then dirty dishes and laundry, toys picked up, then played with and scattered again.  I am exceedingly proud of my children.  I have worries for them.  I stress about their health, emotions and eating habits.
You see, as mothers there is more that draws us together than pulls us a part. 

My dearest friends circa 1999
The last dozen years have changed us all but
our friendships have only deepened
 During this season you may have a husband and I may not.  But I know what it is like to live with a man, to feel pulled to please him over what I feel is best for our family, to be so emptied at the end of a day yet keep giving in order to deepen the relationship of marriage.  To be disappointed over his lack of interest or thrilled when he noticed a new haircut. 

Like you I sometimes have to choose between a darling new pair of flats for me, or new tennis shoes for a child (again).  We both dash around like crazy gathering things before we can head out the door...then something usually gets left behind.  I think we both have random Cheerios and toy cars lost in the nether-regions of our vehicle. 

All this to to say that there is no reason to be stand-off-ish because we have some differences.  I'm really a lot like you.  We share more than we are different and we could probably both use a friend.

If you're singlie, like me - am I the only one who feels sort of odd-man-out?  If you are a married mom, do you have any single mom friends?  Why not ask a friend to lunch? To come over for a play date?  To escape to a movie?  None of us can do this alone, we've got to find our village.