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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Moving Forward When Divorce Strikes

When facing a divorce, the stable ground on which you intended to build your life begins to shiver and quake.  Not being a child of divorce, my marriage was the one thing I thought would not change, never be in question and would be the predictable thread in this changing world.  It was not so.

When I finally realized that my life was never going to be the same, it freed me to move forward.  For so long I grieved what I imagined that I had (but did not).  I longed for things to be the way I had imagined and wanted.  Not until I acknowledged that it wasn't ever that way to begin with did I open myself to the possibilty of another future.
Life is going to be different from my plan.  Yours will, too.  But really, life never goes according to a plan, anyhow and I can make a new plan accordingly. 

Different doesn't mean worse.

Different might be better.  In the case of a difficult marriage, it probably will be better.

Different is full of possibilities. 

Divorce and disappointment aren't things you get over.  We must learn to work though all the gory details of our lives falling apart, and then the hard work of putting it back together.  The very exciting part is that you have more control and experience to put back into life exactly what you truly want.


  1. Having been there recently...I can't agree more. I just wrote about something like this last night. I said I've finally realized that sometimes the hardest thing to do and the best thing to do are often the same thing. It is freeing.
    Stay strong!

  2. Sounds like you've reached acceptance. I don't really know anyone whose life has gone according to plan. Reminds me of this great quote I read recently: Hard times don't build character, they reveal it.

  3. It's great that you're sharing your experiences. I went through a divorce 12 years ago and was a single mom for 3 yrs, so I can relate to a lot of what you're experiencing. Divorce is possibly the most difficult thing I've dealt with but there is life after divorce. Keep up the inspiring writing!

  4. Thanks for talking about this with such honesty, and for the reminder that we don't "get over" the bad stuff.

  5. I can relate. Sometimes life knocks us flat on our rear and we're left to try to piece it back together. You can follow me at for a good laugh sometimes :)

  6. Knocked over, then out...10 years later I've never been happier. I was able to shed the parts of me I didn't like and blossomed into a new person. Still far from perfect and with a trunk load of baggage from the dark years, I can sit back and say, version 2 is not so bad.
    My blog is all about creating a single life as a mom. Check it out...get a glimpse of what could happen (the good, bad and ugly)

  7. "Different might be better." Love it!

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  9. Accepting the situation is the best thing to do. At first it may be hard, but with a little help from family and friends, you will be able to get through with it. Just open the door for new possibilities and live life to the fullest.

    @Jami Patin

  10. Accepting the fact that you have been divorced can be hard, and sometimes, people actually think their lives have ended. It’s a good thing you realized that you can still go on with your life, even though it is true that it might not be the same. If you’re having difficulty moving on, find inspiration in family and friends. Inspiration can be a strong driving force to move you forward in your life.

    @Louisa Matsuura

  11. I like the message of the photo. Going through divorce is hard and truly heart breaking, but that shouldn’t stop you from living your life. Yes, your life will never be the same, but like the photo said, you can certainly start over and enjoy your life to the fullest. Try to focus on your family, and make them the inspiration of your life.

    Mike Clark