It's Tuesday now and obviously I didn't finish my post!
Yesterday was the birthday of my former spouse and father to my children. They went with him to celebrate, so I had some time alone to catch up on grocery shopping, laundry and some fun 'me' time, too. It was interesting to consider how different he is at age 40 than when I met this man more than twenty years ago. I wasn't sad, just a bit retrospective as I considered the alternative life I could have been living. I thought about all the choices he made and I made that brought us to the day where we celebrated only by trading our children on special occasions.
On that note, I do think it is important to teach my children to celebrate others. So, I let them pick out a silly t-shirt to give their Dad on his birthday. They got to wrap it up with a balloon and feel like they did something special. We'll come up with a gift on Fathers' Day, too. They want to celebrate their dad.
This was the first year that the father of our children did not acknowledge Mother's Day. And they felt it...especially my sweet daughter who's love language is gifts. She was so concerned to not have anything to give and brought me flowers from outside and a plethora of drawings from school. I do not want to squelch her sweet, expressive nature so I'll suck in my annoyance and help them do something special for their dad.
Do you acknowledge special days of your former spouse? Do you enable to the children to do so?
By the way, I took matters into my own hands and splurged on a new pair of exercise shoes for my own Mothers Day treat ... I get comments any time I wear them!
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| From Addidas.com |
My ex husband did not recognize Mother's Day. I can't say I was shocked... he didn't recognize it when we were married either (in his words, I'm not his mother). He didn't recognize my birthday and I didn't recognize his. I will, however, make sure that the boys do something for him for Father's Day because I wan't my boys to understand the importance of recognizing their father on that day.
ReplyDeleteI am a 70 year old women who is still married to the same man and father to my three...So I cannot know that your situation is like...however I have lots of respect for you Far From Flawless...and I want you to know I think you have a very tender and special heart for your children...Blessings to you and them...
ReplyDeleteLouisa.............
Thank you for the encouragement, Louisa. You have what I hoped for! And yet I know the future still holds many good things. Thank you for reading!
DeleteBefore we split up my husband told me one Mothers Day that I was not his mother. We split, and in our 3rd year of separation, he for the first time acknowledged me on Mothers Day. This past Mothers Day, the first year of our reconciliation, he made a huge deal and I had the best Mothers Day ever.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing that! It demonstrates in a tangible way the redemption of your marriage ... I'm so thankful for stories like this. Enjoy and remember these moments when the more challenging times inevitably come.
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