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Friday, June 14, 2013

The Daddy Wound

This is a hard subject for me to think about.  All wounds are that way, I think.  My three children will have an extra long visit with their Daddy this weekend to celebrate Father's Day.  I will miss them and their energetic activity.  I let them choose a gift for Dad and I try to do something that they can all do together.  So they chose a 500 piece train puzzle they can all work on together.  I hope he does it with them.  I hope he acknowledges the love they so freely give and the way they unabashedly  admire a dad who doesn't always deserve it (NOTE: I do not say this to put down their dad, children give all of us a lot more admiration than we ever deserve).

My children have not known a protective male covering over our lives or home.  It is my hope that Mr. Wonderful will be the male figure who is a healthy, godly example of what God intended when he created man.  I pray my boys will learn the importance of faithfulness and my daughter to know what love looks like.  May she not be vulnerable to harmful predators who seek only to use her for their own selfish pleasure. 

I worry about their Daddy wound.  I worry they will seek approval and attention from unhealthy sources.  I worry that they will not well define the role of men.  I worry they will take on the views I see as negative about women and self.  I worry they will repeat history and have broken relationships in their future.  It makes me sad.

We all have a Daddy wound, to some degree, for none of our earthly fathers are perfect.  My own father was present, loving, faithful and the best dad anyone could hope for.  I still made choices that weren't the most wise.  So I turn this worry over to the One who heals all wounds.  I have to trust our Lord to gently replace the negative messages of this world with the truth.  I do all I can to reinforce the positive, create healthy views of family, men and marriage.  But ultimately they will make their own choices. 

I'm thankful for the men in the lives of my children: For pastors who teach and keep the Truth before us.  For my Father, the Papa who loves them and gives them attention and affection whenever he can.  For Mr. Wonderful who is willing to open his heart to love in ways they will likely never understand. For my former spouse, their Daddy who remains a part of their lives and was part of their being.  Thanks, guys.