I shared some about the anxiety issues I have faced in the past and present. It's humbling to admit that a great deal of those issues stem from my desire to control people and circumstances in order to avoid conflict or pain. This personality trait has gifts that allow me to be organized, structured and goal driven. However when taken to extreme it creates battles of the will over non-essential issues. I lose flexibility and strive over matters which are so small. Going through strife and divorce have greatly worked in me to soften the natural rigidity and need for control. It was such an illusion that I ever was in control.
So a new mantra that I live by is: Do what you can, but then let go. Striving and stressing and manipulating and pushing often do not get the results you want and create tension and insecurity. Be smart, research, speak truth. I am a limited person, certainly not almighty. When I've done all that I can, then I must choose to entrust the outcome to another. To the child I've studied and worked with. To the spouse I've honored through difficult choices. To the co-worker where I've trained the best I can.
(Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow has been a great encouragement on the road to trusting God. Our small group studied it together last year and I still have several pointers from it as daily reminders.)
Utimately, I have to let go of my anxieties, fears and desire for control to God. I have to practice what I say I believe by trusting Him to work out all my concerns and believe that the outcome will be okay, even when it isn't what I wanted. I've said I believed this way for years. Disappointments reveal how much I still just wanted my way. It's painful but so liberating to let go and trust God.
Sometimes the process is more difficult than other times. Sometimes we need help. Tomorrow a guest will share her own journey and how depression has played a part. Have you been there? When have you had to trust with your real life disappointments? Have you had to deal with more than circumstantial depression?