One of the aspects of single motherhood that I find the most difficult is how easily I’m toppled. I feel like I’m always one step away from complete disaster and there is so much out of my control. I not enjoy the sensation of “living on the edge” at all times, but I must say that it has increased my faith. I do not have all the solutions to the challenges that enter our lives. My first reaction is often to panic. The responsibility weighs heavily on me.
- Communication with my ex is difficult. There are discrepencies between his version and mine, disagreements about dates, competition for the children’s affection. It is not pretty and very stressful.
- My babysitter unexpectedly quit, citing drama in her own personal life. She was a fantastic gift whom I trusted greatly and I’m very sad to have lost the consistency and help she provided our family. I’m also scrambling to cover childcare while I work. I’m considering that I will need to place my youngest in full time daycare style setting to eliminate the dramatic and undependable individual care we have enjoyed at home. This will be a big shift for him and for me. It coincides with my daughter beginning kindergarten next month. I'm relying on my village today.
- My home suffered damage in the recent storms. We need a new roof, siding and soffit repair, as well as some additional work. I am thankful for insurance, but the deductible and the oversight of these tasks is a job for which I am not prepared and will have to learn much.