 |
| source |
The children's father recently accepted a new job which will change our parenting schedules. The overall time will be about the same, but it will require and adjustment and the giving up of many of our lazy Saturdays. I've come to love waking up without a schedule and a whole day before us! We enjoy visiting the mountains, going to the pool, getting together with friends and all manner of carefree activities. It hurts that I have to think of Saturdays where we won't have that freedom.
As I think about and negotiate the changes, I realize that it's hitting triggers that make me sad in general that we even have to deal with these issues. This isn't the way I dreamed of doing family life. So, I grieve a little for the way things were "supposed" to turn out ... then I get a bit mad that I even let this bother me anymore. Nothing in life is perfect and I'm supposed to be recovering from all my perfectionistic ways!
We are experiencing changes in childcare, parenting schedule, support payments, even the house is still for sale with possible relocation on the horizon! The whole thing has me feeling anxious and unsettled. Lately, I've been putting into practice the Calming Practices that I learned during a previous season of stress and change. My BFF reminded me that there is no perfect situation and that this is a reasonable arrangement. Actually, there are some pros - what? A morning to sleep in? I'm not going to know what to do with that!
After ruminating for a while, I decided to accept that change is coming and do my best to work with it.
As someone who has OCD, I can really relate to this post. I love your quote from Corrie Ten Boom. I've wasted literally years consumed by worry and anxiety. It is so very true. Change is incredibly difficult. It's even more difficult when it's a change we didn't want. I know you're frustrated by life not being how you thought it would be. Boy do I understand that. But you know, sometimes, it can end up being even better than we thought it could. I went through some terrible times the last few years. Today, my life is incredibly sweet and better than I could hope for. I'm hoping the same for you. Thanks for sharing your story. Best wishes!
ReplyDelete