Cutest Blog Layout

Friday, September 6, 2013

On Being the Second Mrs. Robinson

I have many thoughts about becoming a second-time-wife, so this won't be all-encompassing.  I want to share what I'm processing because I'm sure others have walked a similar path or will in the future.  It's different becoming a wife for the second time.

Another woman once lived in the place I now call home and her children still reside in this space with its memories.  There was once a woman who hung her clothes in the place where mine now hang and I don't know if she was neater or more organized than me?  Sometimes I am jealous of the memories and history that my husband has of a previous life.  She got to choose the cabinets, the paint colors and tile where I live.  They are not the ones I would have chosen. 

Learning to live together has gone smoothly, with no big surprises.  We have both lived with a spouse before.  There is an ease to our patterns that is pleasant and welcome.  Our rhythms are more synchronized that what I experienced before and it has been enjoyable to have a companion in the morning and evening routines. 

My husband does dishes.  Often.  He makes me coffee in the mornings.  I love his little gestures of care.  I have never felt so genuinely cared for.  He considers me in his decisions, he is proactive about keeping our home in good condition, he is diligent at work and church.  I have not experienced this before and I wonder if the first Mrs. Robinson recognized these wonderful gifts?

Here's something that has surprised me, when I feel envious of Mr. Wonderful's past, I remind myself that his past is part of what makes him so wonderful!  He has learned many of the relationship skills that make it such a joy to live with him.  He has been faithful for many years in good and difficult circumstances.  He has a proven track record of family life.  Sometimes this makes me sad or jealous, but I'm learning to let that make me feel grateful!  I'm reaping the rewards and loving it!

Have dealt with 'ghosts' from a previous relationship?  Are you surprised when things pop up to remind you that you're not the first woman your man has loved?  Any other sage words today?