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Friday, October 4, 2013

"I Love You"

My former husband said, "I love you" all the time, even after the divorce.  His words did not match his actions and so the words had little value.  I've recently remarried and a similar dynamic was true in his first marriage.  His former wife articulated love, but did not live it.  So, while saying "I love you" is necessary and important in our relationship, demonstrating it or providing more detail is much more meaningful.  I'm looking for ways to do that, everyday.

Mr. Wonderful tells me he loves me when he makes me the sweetest coffee in the morning.  I hear his love when he calls me after dropping his girls off at school, just to chat and connect.  I feel loved when he takes care of the dishes or insists I sit down instead of folding another load of laundry (knowing he'll tackle it instead).  I am most confident of his love when he ends his day by wrapping his long arms around me and we fall asleep together - seriously, he does this every night.  Touch is one of my primary love languages. 

Words are his primary love language, so I say the words often.  I also try to find unexpected ways to use words.  Before we married, Mr. Wonderful never bothered to put the roll of T.P. on the actual dispenser, but I've noticed since I moved in that he takes that extra step.  I really appreciate it!  So when I saw the roll was getting low...I put a note on the next roll:

 
On a morning I knew he would be awake before me, I left a lipstick message on his mirror. 
Do you think he got the message about the way I feel?

 
I send text messages.  I speak words.  I make his favorite cookies and I brag on him whenever I can.  I want to communicate my love for my own husband in ways he can 'hear.'  I don't ever want him to wonder how I feel.  I want to be his 'sure thing.'
 
How do you tell those you love how much you care?  What is something intentional you can do this weekend?