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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Walk With Me


From our time dating and even more today, I notice that my husband really enjoys when we do life in parallel.  He appreciates my presence, even when I'm not actively involved.  It can be a challenge because there is always a task that could be done and it's tempting to feel like the time is wasted.  But I see a notable change when I make time to simple be with the one I love. 

He likes it when I sit while he practices music.

We often exercise 'together' on Saturday mornings: Him with a running buddy and me on my own at a much slower pace - but we ride together, cross paths and end together.

He enjoys the camaraderie of watching sports together.

When we do errands together, it feels like less of a chore.

Being together, even when it seems unnecessary has provided many moments of laughter, bonding, opportunities to share, discuss and explore.

Obviously, it isn't always possible.  Yet I can tell it makes a difference in our connectedness when I make the effort to be with him.  Women tend do bond by feeling together, talking, processing.  Men bond through participation.  Deep, emotional conversations aren't part of my average day, and that's not what connects my man to me.  Intentionally being together in the big and small things connects us in very practical ways and provides to space for the more touchy-feeling conversations to happen.

Each day I do my best to allow time for just Mr. Wonderful.  Often it's after the little children are in bed and the teenagers have retreated to their rooms to do whatever it is that teenagers do homework.  Usually, the kitchen still needs to be cleaned and there is always a basket of laundry begging to be folded.  But I intentionally set those things aside, at least for a time, and just sit with my man.  Sometimes I rub his head or feet, we usually watch a silly show, game or repeat movie.  I choose to sit on the couch with him although the recliner is usually my preference.  I just want him to know that he is important.  He is my priority and and I value our relationship. 

What do you do to connect with those you love?  Is it hard to avoid the feeling that you're moving in the same circles but at opposite directions.  What makes you feel valued and do those in your life know that?