Through practice and clear thinking, I have learned that it alright to insist on having a say in matters of schedule and that requiring him to commit helps not only me but my children have a consistent and predictable life. A few thoughts are:
- Plan ahead as much as possible.
- Communicate the plan. Use email, Google calendars, whatever works to put ongoing items in front of both you and your spouse.
- Do not feel obligated to remind or hound him about what is on the schedule. Allow him to take ownership and establish the expectation that he will follow-through with commitments.
- Use face-to-face time to confirm verbally.
- Be ready to be flexible, but not a push-over. He will have last minute interruptions or special events that necessitate change. It can be frustrating, but you will have time where you desire flexibility, too. The give and take continues as long as children are involved.